Sleeping Potter
by ScaramoucheJay
Summary: Long, long ago, in a kingdom not too far from here, there was the good king Harry Potter Senior, and his beautiful queen Harriet Potter. They wished for a baby girl, and at last, their wish came true... A Sleeping Beauty Spoof
1. Once Upon A Time

Sleeping Potter  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the Harry Potter  
characters. I also do not own Sleeping Beauty. Or anything else much  
for that matter.  
  
A/N: This story line is based on the Disney version of Sleeping  
Beauty, as it is the one I am most familiar with.  
  
Long, long ago, in a kingdom not too far from here, there was the good king Harry Potter Senior, and his beautiful queen Harriet Potter. They wished for a baby girl, and at last, their wish came true. They named her Harry Potter Junior. They held a party, to which people came form far and near. A good friend, the king Ron Weasley from a neighbouring kingdom came and he brought his son Todd (. *shrug*.). It was agreed that the children should marry and unite their kingdoms.  
  
Three good fairies Pinky, Brain and Prainky were among the guests, and they each stepped forward to bestow their gift on the child. Beauty and song were the first two, but before the final gift could be given an evil fairy Draco burst into the room, angered by not being invite to this most special of occasions. He cursed the child, before the sun set on the eve of her sixteenth birthday; she would prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die.  
  
The distraught king and queen, gasped in horror, but before the fairy could be caught he disappeared in a flash of blue smoke. They thought all was lost, but before they could give up all hope, the third and final fairy stepped forward. She could not break the spell, but could only soften it. Instead of death the princess would sleep until true loves kiss awoke her from her deep slumber.  
  
The king and queen's distress could not be measured, but the kind hearted fairies offered to take the child in and raise her in secret in a wooded glade, throwing aside their magic to care for her. With reluctance in their hearts the king and queen agreed.  
  
And this is the point in the story that everything went a little bit wrong...  
  
The fairies' kept their promise, raising the child deep in the forest in the old abandoned house of a woodcutter. They re-named their young charge Pitcher after there favourite plant of all, the Pitcher plant. They had once seen one in the local garden center, and had remained entranced by it ever since.  
  
The beautiful Pitcher ran down the stairs of the small cottage in the middle of a wooded glade. She was 15 years old, but not for long, for tomorrow was her 16th birthday.  
  
"La la la la la!" she warbled tunefully, "Doo be doo be doo be doooooo!" The animals of the forest flocked to her, and sat at her feet, swaying to the hypnotic rhythms of her voice. She was certainly the fairest in the land, taking after her father in looks (not that she knew that). She was blessed with large green eyes; messy black hair in a delightful mullet cut, and was also rather skinny and small for her age. She pushed her glasses up her nose good naturedly, and stooped to stroke the heads of the small and fluffy creatures at her feet. She giggled as the squirrel tried to bite her thumb off, and the owl screeched as it tried to rip the same squirrel off the ground and carry it off to its hungry young.  
  
"Naughty Mr. Owl!" she scolded crushing the poor creature to her chest. "We must not eat Mr. Squirrely-Kins! We must be friends!"  
  
And with that she skipped off into the forest to collect berries, screeching at the top of her lungs. She was slightly dense, poor love, and had not realized that she had collected enough berries yesterday to last herself and the kindly women looking after her until her 116th birthday.  
  
She skipped off singing happily, and collecting the berries she thought would make a tasty treat ("Oh! Those oozing yellow ones look good!"). She stopped and sat on a handy rock, dipping her feet into the cool stream. She grabbed a nearby unsuspecting rabbit, and pulled it into a death crush of a hug.  
  
"Oh Mrs. Fluffle-Wumps! I dreamt about him again last night. He's so tall and handsome." She sighed deeply, squeezing the rabbit extra tight, as it tried to bite her hand off. She started to waltz around the glade with her eyes shut, as she sung sweetly at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Lalalala! He is tall! Lalalala! He is handsoooooome!"  
  
She was so busy dancing; she didn't notice the rabbit's escape, or the approach of a lanky, awkward boy a few years older than herself. He too started to waltz around the glade, thinking it was the 'thing' to do (he was at that impressionable age.). Pitcher opened her eyes and got the fright of her life! It was the tall, handsome man of her dreams! She gasped and threw herself at him.  
  
"TAKE ME!" she screamed.  
  
"Take you where?" asked the uncomfortable youth, trying to pries her off him.  
  
"I don't know. They just seem to shout it in moments of passion in movies and books," shrugged the beautiful Pitcher.  
  
"This is a moment of passion?" asked the poor boy.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh," replied the boy, deciding she must be right (he wasn't used to girls). An uncomfortable silence settled on the pair.  
  
"So you like trees?" asked the boy (his name was Todd, don't ask why, no one knows).  
  
"Oh yes!" she cried, "Do you?"  
  
"Yeah, especially the big green ones."  
  
"They're my favourite too! We must be soul mates!"  
  
"Really?" he asked, slightly flabbergasted.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay. So you want to meet up again?" he stuttered out, supposing he should make the effort.  
  
"Oh, I can't!" the distressed Pitcher cried.  
  
"Oh. okay," replied Todd, slightly relieved to say the least, "Why?"  
  
"Oh, if you insist!" sighed Pitcher, who is apparently more than slightly disturbed.  
  
"I do?" asked Todd in confusion.  
  
"Yes, you do. In the cottage in the glade, tonight."  
  
"Tonight?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
And with that Pitcher ran off, leaving a distressed Todd to try and work out what had happened, and whether or not he actually wanted a psychopath for a soul mate. 


	2. Princess Pitcher

Sleeping Potter  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. Pinky and Brain aren't mine.  
Sleeping Beauty isn't mine... I have nothing and no one. Even my cat  
hates me.  
  
A/N: This story line is based on the Disney version of Sleeping Beauty, as it is the one I am most familiar with.

* * *

Pitcher arrived back at the small log keeper's cottage that she had called her home for nearly 15 years and called out to the kindly fairies that had cared to her, though, of course, she did not know that they were fairies.  
  
"Pinky! Brain! Prainky!"  
  
The cottage was in darkness and Pitcher, instead of turning on the light, decided it would be far more practical to stumble around in the dark.  
  
"Prainky! Yeeeowch! Braaain! Piiiinkyeouch!" Pitcher walked into the table and promptly fell over, grabbing onto the tablecloth to keep herself upright, and instead pulling the entire contents of the table on top of herself.  
  
"GAAH!" The lights flickered on and the three good fairies appeared before her. They were tapping their feet and shaking their heads...well Prainky was. Pinky was marveling at how well she could blink and Brain was calculating how much this incident had delayed her plans for world domination.  
  
Prainky ambled over and pulled Pitcher to her feet. She was covered in a mixture of ball gown, birthday cake and soap suds form a bucket Pinky had forgotten to put away.  
  
"Pitcher? What did we tell you about turning on lights when you go into a dark room?"  
  
"Do it?"  
  
"That's right." Prainky tapped Pitcher on the head. "Now get up! Happy Birthday child!"  
  
Pitcher suddenly noticed the cake and ball gown and realised they weren't things that were usually scattered around the house. She blinked and stared about before lifting the dress and spinning around the room with it.  
  
"Huzzah!" she cried out, "Huzzah!"  
  
Pinky joined in her twirling and Prainky shook her head.  
  
"Well try the gown on!" she called out to Pitcher. "We need to know if it fits you! Your going into the presence of royalty tonight!"  
  
Pitcher cocked her head to one side and stopped twirling. Pinky crashed into the welsh dresser.  
  
"Are we playing dressing up?"  
  
"No child..." Prainky took a deep breath. She had always dreaded this day. Not particularly because she couldn't bear to be parted from her darling Pitcher, but mainly because she new it would take 3 days or so for Pitcher to understand what the blinking heck she was on about.  
  
"What then?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Oh guess what!" Pitchers short attention span didn't help either.  
  
"What?" Prainky sighed and sat down. This could take some time.  
  
"I found my soul mate!"  
  
Prainky groaned. She didn't not want to explain to Pitcher why a geranium couldn't possibly be her soul mate again.  
  
"His name is Todd! He is taaaall!" Pitcher sung tunefully. Her eyes became glazed and she jerked erratically.  
  
Brain sighed and got out an abacus. Yet more time was being eaten out of her plan for world domination.  
  
"That's nice dear...." Prainky suddenly had an idea. "Is his name Prince Todd?"  
  
Pitcher stopped jerking and gazed at her curiously. Pinky stood up and stumbled over.  
  
"Narf!" Pinky passed out.  
  
"Anyway dear, as I was saying, is his name Prince Todd?"  
  
Pitcher looked thoughtful.  
  
"No."  
  
"Ah. Well then there is a problem, because your name isn't really Pitcher. It's Princess Harry Potter Junior. You are a princess Pitcher."  
  
Pitcher blinked.  
  
"So I'm afraid he can't possibly be your soul mate. He's not a Prince." Prainky held her breath. It was a long shot but Pitcher might have actually understood something the first time it was explained.  
  
"Okay." Pitcher stood up. She walked over to the stairs and started to climb them.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"To put the dress on."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we have to leave. I want to go to the castle now."  
  
"But..."  
  
"I am a Princess and I order you to take me to the castle!" Pitcher stomped her foot.  
  
"But, but..." Prainky spluttered again.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"We have to go after nightfall a evil fairy wants to kill you."  
  
Pitcher sighed, obviously exasperated by the simpleton before her.  
  
"Duh, I will order him not to kill me."  
  
"I don't think he'll listen."  
  
"Well we have to go soon anyway. Todd insisted that he has to come to the cottage tonight. He loves me."  
  
"Really?" Prainky was dubious.  
  
"Yes." Pitcher disappeared to put on her dress, leaving Prainky standing in the kitchen, a pile of birthday cake goop and a gently slumbering Pinky at her feet and a muttering Brain, complaining that word domination was a stressful business and she could not THINK with all this noise! 


End file.
